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Who Will Replace Jeremy Clarkson?

Words by: Finnian Williamson

Oh no, Sunday night repeats of Top Gear will never be the same. Jeremy Clarkson’s been given the boot after popping up in our Facebook ‘trending news’ section since ‘trending news’ has been a thing. Clarkson is the integral part of the show’s phenomenal success; generating the show $50 million per year and making it the worlds most watched ‘factual programme’.

Sure, he drops the odd racist or homophobic slur now again, but that’s partly what gives him an edge. That’s not to say this writer supports Clarkson’s comments in the slightest, but the image he creates makes him more noteworthy than nearly ever other British ‘media personality’. So, it must have taken a lot of work from Clarkson to get officially sacked by the BBC. I’m getting the feeling that punching a producer probably wasn’t the only problem he’s been causing behind the scenes.

While this is end of an era for Top Gear – Clarkson’s co-presenter James May has indicated that the show is a ‘trio’s effort’ – it might end up being the BBC who are the big losers here. They’ve received nothing but backlash since the sacking, and do they have to now cut arguably their most successful show?

But let’s imagine for a second: if the BBC are desperately looking for an (Australian) replacement as we speak, who could we possibly expect?

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Lee Lin Chin
‘I’m kind of a bitch’. Not my words, but the Chin’s herself. Her strong opinions could shine through and the problems she’d cause behind the scenes – drinking on the job, sexual harassment – would make Clarkson look tame in comparison.

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David Stratton & Margaret Pomeraz

Screw those British lads. Shit’s gonna get serious when these two golden oldies return. Everyone and their mum are already begging for a ‘At The Movies’ comeback, so let’s take these Aussie icons and drop ‘em in the world of cars. And if you want controversy, just don’t give Margaret the bottle or David’s gonna get pissed off real quick.

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Kyle Sandilands

If just to watch nobody’s-favourite bully get fired. Again. Dickhead.