50 Shades of Grey Director Flees Franchise

To my everlasting joy, more difficulties have struck the 50 Shades of Grey Franchise.
After Jamie Dornan, who portrayed secret Sadistic Lizard-Person Christian Grey, left the film at the behest of his Wife (who should be commended for her excellent taste), Director Sam Taylor Johnson has now left the franchise.

The First film, 50 Shades of Grey, was released in on the 12th of February (rather than Valentines Day as the film was advertised), has since made more than 500 Million dollars Globally, while being panned by critics.
But apparently starring in a badly written film based on a hilarious awful book series doesn’t hold much attraction for its cast and crew, as Sam Taylor Johnson has departed the franchise after reports of clashing with the author of the book series, E. L. James.

We definitely fought — but they were creative fights and we would resolve them…“.

She has since wished the remaining cast and crew luck, saying: “I wish nothing but success to whosoever takes on the exciting challenges of films two and three“.
I would like to take this opportunity to applaud the inventive use of the phrase ‘exciting challenges’, maybe its a reference to the missing Tampon scene which might get squeezed into the later films. Maybe it’s her way of hoisting the burden of resolving the spectacularly inconclusive ending that the First film ended on. Or maybe its a genuine sympathetic encouragement to Dakota Johnson who’s stuck with the franchise until she is rescued by someone or something.

The sequel to 50 Shades of Grey, 50 Shades Darker, has been confirmed by the now Ex-Director. May whatever the powers that be Forgive Us.