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How To Prepare For Winter In Perth

By Smoko Henderson

Come up with some great jokes about weather being bipolar.

Jeez, won’t you just get a load of Perth. One day it’s hot and sunny, the next day it’s hot and cloudy. Ha ha! Oh, this weather!

Take a photo with the caption “I miss the sun!” and upload it onto the internet.

Wear a cute jumper and maybe do your hair real nice – on a cold gray day like this, no-one will think twice if you’ve decided to spruce yourself up. We’ve all got to find warmth somewhere!

Wait for a cool day. Tell everyone you talk to it’s a cool day.

Christ, it’s fuckin’ cold out there today guys.

Get a partner to dump in the Summer. 

It’s the natural way.

Jeez, it’s cold today, isn’t it? It wasn’t like this last week.

Heh, y’know – it’s like our weather is bipolar! 

Beware light drizzle on the roads. 

Remember the classic rhyme: “small drops of water on your windshield and not really enough water on the road to actually lose control if you did have to brake hard? Drop 15.”

Amphetamines.

No sleeps til’ summer, and with the beach bod to match.

Catch a nice warm bacterial infection from the Swan River. 

Tissue inflammation? More like insulation.

Remove Aboriginal Heritage sites off the State register without consulting elders. 

As is tradition, to keep the rain spirit happy.

Assign yourself as the ambassador for Rain.

Keep your facebook friends list up to date with real time rain alerts.