Features

Let’s Get Rid Of Representative Democracy And Just Elect 3 Celebrity Chefs Instead

Words by: Smoko Henderson


If one more person tells me to vote this week because suddenly they care about politics, I’m going to snap. You don’t give a shit, just like you don’t give a shit about ANZAC day until the day it comes around (just admit it and move on), and frankly I believe we should elect celebrity judges instead.

Think of how much easier things would be. Remember Big Brother? X Factor? Australian Idol? Australia’s Got Talent? The Voice Australia? They all worked for three reasons: a celebrity judge.

We don’t need a minister for each department. We don’t need bipartisanship, Turnbull or Shorten, DiNatale or an independent – we need change. We need progress. We need an authority who represent the true desires of the Australian population – a panel of celebrity guest judges.

Think of the places we would be if instead of electing Howard, we had elected Justin Timberlake, Prince and Oprah? Frankly I believe that poverty would be solved by now. Australians would be on the moon. We’d have gotten rid of our primitive ballot system that doesn’t even count West Australian votes half the time.

If you want real change, vote for a panel of celebrity guests. That’s what the people really want.