Words By: Laurent Shervington
Over the last 72 or so hours Pokemon Go has taken the world by storm, influencing many users of the app to venture out into their neighbourhood in order to find rare beasts among the suburban sprawl. Here are a few tips to help you catch that elusive Pokemon.
1. Say goodbye to your friends and family, this is your life now.
2. Compile a list of Pokemon related pickup lines if you happen to spot a #pokebabe in your area, here’s a few we came up with.
– Hey are you a Pokestop? Because you’ve got stopped me dead in my tracks!
– Do you have a spare revive? Because I might faint from your beauty.
– Do you think you could release no. 63? I’d like to see you without Abra.
3. Threaten local residents that if they even think about touching your Gym you’ll eraticate them from this earth.
4. Give fellow Pokemon Go players bad advice like, “yeah dude, all the rare electric Pokemon are inside Power Plant, just like jump the fence”
5. Quit your job and take up one more suited to your new lifestyle. Consider jobs that take you to new places and maximise walking distance: Meterreading, Dog-walking, Olympic power-walking.
Top 5 Best Perth Pokemon Go! Spots
1. Top Floor of the Bell Tower – It’s rumoured Perth City Council spent the money leftover from trips to Beijing to create a Pokestop in the Bell Tower. Because like, why else would you go there.
2. Midland Train Station ~1am in the morning – According to local folklore a golden Mew has been known to frequent Midland traino in the early hours. Just ask any local and they’ll gladly show you to the exact spot.
3. East Perth Power Plant – Heaps of rares, jump the fence.
4. Karrakatta Cemetery – Give yourself an excuse to visit your late grandparents via an app you probably would have been too busy with to acknowledge their prescence when they were alive. Also watch out for high level Haunters.
5. Melbourne – According to the lunar cycle all Pokemon with vague artistic potential will be migrating to Melbourne by latest July 30th. Book your flights now kids.