Features

Election 2017: Why WA Needs One Nation & Pauline Hanson

By Smoko Henderson

The Trump election brings into focus the worldspread craving for right wing governments. That’s what people want, and while Barnett offers us a fine array of large and expensive infrastructural projects (which never go to shit or lapse into stagnancy at any point, see: Roe 8, Train Line to Ellenbrook, FSH, Children’s Hospital, Elizabeth Quay, Gorgon, Point Peron, Light Rail) – we could have it even better. Things could be better. Things could be great. 

Here’s why we need the Hansonator and One Nation to represent all West Australians. On an unrelated note, email me if you know how to make black friends.

Admit it: Pauline Hanson Could Totally Be Casted For Kath & Kim 

3668493f00000578-3697186-a_documentary_to_air_on_sbs_on_july_31_explores_the_impact_pauli-a-4_1468925943541

know, right? Recite her classic catch-phrase: “Please explain.” Now recite something from Kath and Kim. You did it in the same voice, right? Same. One Nation, bring back early 00s Australian Television!

She Looks Kind of Hot In This Poster From 2001 

pandora-6-1

Like not heaps, but enough right?

“One Nation” Could Be Confused for “One Direction”

screenshot_3

If you were only half listening or something. Still, though.

Senator Malcolm Roberts Reminds Me of the Bald Mealy Old Man We Called Pa When The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down

screenshot_4
Little cutie scamp

Brian Cox was a real asshole to your grandfather on TV and you never emulate him, Jimmy. You never emulate him. I never want to see you watching Q&A again. What you saw was un-Australian. And be grateful: Grand-dad still handles all the family taxes. How do you think we’ve kept our savings safe from the Jews? 

Run along now, and remember what I told you.

One Nation Are More “Us” Than They Are “Them”, Y’know?

He'd help you move.
He’d help you move.

You know who I mean.

Pauline Was Like Really Genuine In That 60 Minutes Interview And She Even Cried Dude How Could You Call Her A Racist?

screenshot_6

Dude, she cried. Why would a patriot ever deliberately pretend to cry on camera to a national audience in an attempt to elicit irrational feelings of pride and loyalty towards an ultimately abstract concept like the modern nation state or political part – oh. Oh!