Every Other Celebrity Figure You Like Now Also Dead As Well

Sources close to Rotunda Media have confirmed today that every beloved celebrity figure who has ever starred in or created something sentimental to at least one individual has died.

The crushing news comes as an added blow to an already long list of celebrities who have been taken this year.

Oxford academics are saying that 2016 will go down in history as “Hollywood Purge Death Year.”

Next year will officially be named 2017 A.B., for “After Bowie.”

Jesus, 2016, right?