Features

Last Rotunda Editors Want Rio Tinto Compensation for Loyal Virtueposter Die-Off Following Boom Crash

By Smoko Henderson

REUTERS, YEMEN: Leaders of the Rotunda Media Indie Zone Coalition State, Sa-Al-Abbim Laurent Shervignton and Nasser Davidson are the last two individuals left pushing Rotunda Media onwards into a haphazard future.

When asked by court reporters just what was going to happen to Rotunda, features editor Jonathon Davidson refused to answer any journalist’s questions unless they called him Smoko Henderson.

Visibly agitated, Henderson was rude to reporters, refusing to field questions that did not revolve around a tenuous assumption Rotunda Media flourished in a mining boom economy.
When asked if Rotunda Media is still open to writers, Davidson threw his hands up in the air, saying: “Yes, it always has been. We just need you to be as excited about doing it as you get in your email describing your idea to us.”

Abbim Shervington, historically the more moderate of the executive duo, decided to use the press conference to plug tickets to his upcoming Catwalk Gig.
Allegations on Jon’s likewise descent into live music involvement is underlined by his participation at RTR, painting a stark picture for the future of Rotunda Media.

When challenged on the future of Rotunda, both editors gave a version of: “our premium domain runs out pretty fucking soon, so we’re going back to that hell povvo wordpress account.”

Seriously though we probably deserve some kind of money right? You make trickle down economics work for once and then you can’t even fix up your mistak – oh right, you’re a mining company. That’d be remediation.

Fuck it, here’s a song promoting toxic male culture.